Who is it who hates me?
Brian: “So you finally gilded the Lily.”
Lisa: “Gross”
Colin: “What I meant was that I’d finally plucked up the courage to tell her how I feel.”
Brian: “Plucked the Lily.”
It is a simple concept – but one which works. Colin (Nicholas Burns) gets a parcel from a designer patisserie but inside is unthinkable. Instead of brushing it off as a joke, Colin starts to obsess about who hates him enough to send him a box of, presumably not designer, excrement. His thoughts spiral, exploring his past, his work colleagues, his past girlfriends and all the ways he might have given offence. But Colin doesn’t stop there.
Besides racking through his past misdemeanours, he reports it to the police as a crime, hires a solicitor and devises a questionnaire for the bakery about anyone they observed. And this is where we fall about laughing as the investigation starts to take over his life and his behaviour becomes more and more ridiculous.
Alongside his sister Lisa (Laura Haddock) and his brother-in-law Brian (Alex Price), Colin starts his grim scrutiny with examination of the parcel contents. They discuss whether it could be dog excrement and the received opinion seems to be that it is decidedly human. After this, they are all unable to face what were their plans for the evening, dinner at their local Chinese restaurant. Glad it wasn’t lamb koftas at the Turkish kebab shop!
A second scene where Colin tries to embrace Renewal, has all three tucking into, what could be a chocolate log, out of an identical box! The questionnaire is considered and I defy you not to laugh at people being asked whether anyone was seen going towards the lavatory in the patisserie with an empty cake box. My nine year old granddaughter relishes in poo jokes but the ones about Beethoven’s last movement on the piano chair are a tad too sophisticated a use of scatological language.
As a sub plot, Lisa and Brian are having issues with their marriage and have booked a retreat together and will desert Colin at this crucial time. Meanwhile Colin has created suspect walls on the inside of each of his eye-level kitchen cabinet doors with photographs of possible perpetrators and linking red ribbon as in crime dramas on television. Sara Perks’ perfect set is a modern kitchen but the view from the circle emphasises the men’s male pattern balding tonsures.
Adam Meggido’s careful direction is seamless. Laura Haddock is calming as Lisa, Alex Price’s Brian manages to put his foot in it and seasoned actor Nicholas Burns convinces in obsession. Dave Florez’s dialogue is delightful in this comedy of manners as Colin goes into meltdown. A plot device results in boxing moves after a suspect is found. The Gift is a light comedy which made me laugh. So for all those out there with a tendency towards anal retention, Enjoy!
Editor of TheatreVibe.co.uk
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Production Notes
The Gift
Written by Dave Florez
Directed by Adam Meggido
Cast
Starring:
Nicholas Burns
Alex Price
Laura Haddock
Creatives
Director: Adam Meggido
Designer: Sara Perks
Lighting Designer: David Howe
Fight Director: Dan “DJ” Johnso
Sound Director: Amanda Priestley
Information
Running Time: Two hours 05 minutes including the interval
Booking to 1st March 2025
Theatre:
Park 200
London N4 3JP
Tube: Finsbury Park
Reviewed by Lizzie Loveridge
at the Park Theatre
on 28th January 2025